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August 28th, 2006

"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
the restCollapse )

August 8th, 2006

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Fix You- coldplayCollapse )
I wanted perfection from every song I’ve ever sung
But that was wrong
And I wanted something from every person I’ve ever loved
But that was wrong

CHORUS
And I’ve changed, I’ve changed
I’ve reconsidered everything
I’m fine now, I’m fine now
I laid the barrel in my mouth
And everything I thought before
I won’t think anymore
I’ve changed, I’ve changed, I’ve changed

I wanted to be the greatest at everything
But I can’t be
And I wanted to be exempt from temptation
But I can’t be

CHORUS

And I wanted your love to be ever lasting
But it isn’t
I wanted life to be an easier proposition
But it isn’t

CHORUS

my ramblingsCollapse )

August 6th, 2006

and if you can believe, during this relationship i actually did hear the 'i didn't fuck her she only gave me head' bull. i'm shocked at myself. but the more costly the lesson the more it sticks with you.. and i need to never forget this shit. i will also chalk a large part of this debacle up to not getting laid for years then getting it good and being blinded by weiner... i will be sure to not starve myself in that way again.


We walked along the beach
What a moonlit night
He held my hand in his
He kissed me
He said i wanna spend my life with you... I want you for my wife
Just then I thought

Chorus:
What about the times you lied to me
What about the times you said no one would want me
What about all the shit youve done to me
What about that, what about that
What about the times you yelled at me
What about the times I cried, you wouldnt even hold me
What about those things
What about that, what about that
What about that- janet jacksonCollapse )

August 5th, 2006

preach Mary!

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once again, i was going to bold all the parts that applied but they all apply. sometimes when you least expect it God throws you a bone.


So tired
Tired of all this drama
You go your way...
I go my way
(No more, no more, no more)
I need to be free
So tired, tired, tired of all this drama

Verse 1
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine
(I'll be fine)
No More Drama- Mary J BligeCollapse )

July 12th, 2006

(no subject)

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i would say excuse me for being a post whore, but nobody reads this! :) I had my random on & it comes to this... in my peaceful state it was just perfect. i'm cutting to the part where i came in & started paying attention and got moved (yeah i said it, do something!)... i cannot say enough times that music is AWESOME

Under Pressure by Queen & David BowieCollapse )
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love give love give love?
Give love give love give love give love give love give love?
Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care
For the people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way
Of caring about ourselves

This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under Pressure
Under Pressure
Under Pressure

notes to self

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I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationale
But here you are in the ninth
Two men out and three men on
Nowhere to look but inside
Where we all respond to
Pressure
Billy Joel- Pressure


Yo, this psychotic pressure cooker you're in right now won't last, and all those people with their "peter pan advice" would've completely cracked by now. you're stronger than you think.

I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.
Destiny's Child- Survivor


Remember Yo, you ARE better than that. don't get drawn into other people's madness. you've got enough madness of your own.

July 9th, 2006

Unfortunately, i believe he's well aware of my presence since i got a personalized invitation and i was apparently fucked up and RSVP'd to hell ;)

Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Say's I don't mind if ya kick me
Seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do

You still walk the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie
In a bottle of Jim Beam
And she lies to You
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
the rest of the songCollapse )

July 8th, 2006

[Girl:] Will you raise me up, will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this Godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

[Boy:] I can do that! I can do that!

[Girl:] Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?

[Boy:] I can do that! Oh oh, now I can do that!

[Girl:] Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?


[Boy:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

[Girl:] Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?

[Boy:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

[Girl:] After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on

[Boy:] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

[Girl:] I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later, you'll be screwing around


[Boy:] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

February 13th, 2006

Just heard this on iTunes, and this seems really appropriate for Valentine's Day, in a way.

'I Want Love' by Elton JohnCollapse )

October 13th, 2005

it's where i'm at at this particular point in my day.... too much to say and nothing to say all at the same time. haha i was going to go back and bold all the lyrics that apply to me and the entire song minus like 2 sentences fits. :/


Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.
the rest of the songCollapse )

October 3rd, 2005

First there's Tim McGraw's the cowboy in me... for some reason i've always kind of thought of myself that way.. most songs i've ever heard about cowboys and their behaviors and ways of thinking always seem to apply to me, and this one most certainly fits the bill. 'the face in the mirror when i don't like what i see' 'the me that's never satisfied'?! c'mon. it's screaming me.

second, The judds mama he's crazy... *sigh* i've turned into what i said i'd never turn into again.. a giggly in love girl. i really do want to play this for my mama.. it's so appropriate it's not funny. *sigh* in love again. fuck. me. running.

lastly, Leann Womack's i may hate myself in the morning.. this one's not real happy. everytime i hear it i think of the last time i was in love (lee) and how everytime we were together i was so happy and the next morning i just wanted to die b/c i knew it wasn't real and that it would never be.

god i love music.. it can take me to so many places in the span of 3 or 4 minutes. i think i'd rather lose my sight than my hearing for that very reason. i'm now going to lie in bed and think.. (dangerous pasttime of mine)

the lyrics to the above songs this wayCollapse )

July 22nd, 2005

(no subject)

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couple this with MB 20's "Unwell" and you've got where i'm at today.

Yesterday she thanked me
For oilin’ that front door
This morning when she wakes
She won’t be thankful anymore
She’ll never know how much I cared
Just that I couldn’t stay
And I’ll never know the reason
Why I always run away.

(chorus)
Burning bridges one by one
What I’m doin’ can’t be undone
And I’m always hoping someday
I’m gonna stop this runnin’ around
But every time the chance comes up
Another bridge goes down.

Last night we talked of old times
Families and home towns
Whe wondered if we’d both agree
On where we’d settle down
And I told her that we’d cross that bridge
Whenever it arrived
Now through the flames I see her
Standin’ on the other side

*chorus*
Like ashes on the water
I drift away in sorrow
Knowing that the day
My lesson’s finally learned
I’ll be standing at a river
Staring out across tomorrow
And the bridge I need to get there
Will be a bridge that I have burned.

Garth Brooks- burning bridges
*chorus*
Another bridge goes down

July 11th, 2005

Welcome To My Life - Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
the rest of the songCollapse )

July 6th, 2005

today.....

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Take your straight line for a curve
Make it stretch, the same old line
Try to find if it was worth what you spent
Why you're guilty for the way
You're feeling now
It's almost like being free
And I know soon you will be
Over the lies, you'll be strong
You'll be rich in love and you will carry on
But no - oh no
No you won't be mine
MB20- you won't be mine

If I had it all, you know
I’d fuck it up
If I were a king
If I had everything
If I had you and I could give you your dreams
If I were giant-sized, on top of it all
Then tell me what in the world would I sing for...
DMB- If i had it all

the space between what's wrong and right
is where i'll be hiding waiting for you
the space between your heart and mine
is a space that's filled with time
DMB- the space between

Between the horses of love and lust we are trampled underfoot.
U2- so cruel


yeah i could do this all day... i'm pretty sure these lyrics are self explanatory about where i'm at today so i won't delve into it- not like anyone but me reads this anyway.. but yeah. parents. kameel. love. sex. drama. life.

June 22nd, 2005

(no subject)

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This life I'm bound to lead
Ain't for the faint of heart
So you won't fall for me
If you know what's good for you
'Cause I still got a lot of leavin' left to do

I guess the Lord made me hard to handle
So lovin' me might be a long shot gamble
So before you go and turn me on
Be sure that you can turn me loose
'Cause I still got a lot of leavin' left to do

Girl, you look like you might be an angel
So I won't lie
I could love you like the devil
If you wanted me to tonight
And we could talk about forever for a day or two
But I still got a lot of leavin' left to do

Dierks Bentley- lot of leavin' left to do


i hear it and the first thing i think about is The Boy. he absolutely doesn't listen to country, but this song's all about him. and as much as it makes me smile, it makes me kinda queasy too.. these are the guys i'm attracted to. the challenges. the ones who are just untameable. the ones that you can only borrow, not have. but this time.. i think i just might be able to turn that long shot gamble into good odds. :)

August 23rd, 2003

(no subject)

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i found this song during the summer of 99 and i just thought it was a nice song... then i met a guy and it went horribly horribly wrong... while driving from indiana back to tennesee in a rental car b/c he had blown mine up, i stopped and bought the tape and listened to it the entire way (that and journey's 'wheel in the sky')... it became much more than a song. it was like an anthem or something (right up there with ' i will survive') that i belted out at high off key volume, cried to, understood and really got to me in a real way. that's when i found a love of johnny lang.

and the lyrics go........Collapse )

yeah and i, too, have noticed that a lot -most- of my musical memories are tied to relationships.

July 11th, 2003

early summer '99

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the first time i heard this song, brian made me listen to it. we were leaving fort campbell to go party in nashville and he looked at me in the sweetest way and made me listen to the words and i had never felt so loved in my life. i was going thru soooo much and his telling me that this is how he felt about made me feel all warm and fuzzy (still does when i think about it).... of course our relationship wound up going up in flames *giggle* but that's another story.

anyway here are the lyrics so maybe the warm fuzzy feeling will make sense =)
i wanna be thereCollapse )

June 2nd, 2003

(no subject)

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red hoodie
This song reminds me of my very short lived radio show on 88.3.
I was so freaking happy to have a chance to play the music that I loved for everyone to hear. But I don’t think anyone but Nate listened. God I miss Nate. But that’s a whole 'nother story.

May 19th, 2003

For me, it isn’t just a song. My life is possessed by entire CDs, moments and events swallowed up by that particular set of tracks. Maybe it's something that you get into the habit of listening to on the way to and from work, or while working out, or maybe you go on a road trip and end up playing the same disk over and over again because of the inconvenience of reaching another- and besides, it’s a good disk. With that, the sound of the music- the style, the art- weaves into that moment of existence, and never again can they be separated.
Read more...Collapse )
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